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Christians have a duty to disciple (Matthew 28:20) but many don't understand what that means. Discipling goes beyond witnessing, it's the nurturing of a new Christian's faith and the parenting of the new Christian into maturity. By this definition, then, the leader in the relationship needs to have a strong and committed relationship with Christ.
Our model for discipling is Christ. “Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me” (Matthew 11:29a) When He began His ministry, He chose disciples to work with and develop, so that the disciples would be able to carry on His message after He was gone. Our job in discipling is much the same; we teach younger Christians and help them mature so that they will be able to effectively serve Christ.
Many followed Christ but He chose only a few to disciple. This is an important message; don’t take on more than you can handle. Most people with a family and a job and all the commitments that go along with these things would be hard pressed to disciple more than one person. A discipling relationship requires a lot of energy for both parties. Ideally, the relationship involves spending time together in Bible study and guidance. Out of this grows a deeper relationship, like Jesus shared with His disciples, a genuine concern and involvement with each other’s lives.
Christ chose only men to disciple. This may have been because of cultural issues, however, Christ went against the grain of culture many times. More likely, it was a deliberate and rational decision made for reasons other than culture. Men should disciple men and women should disciple women. Discipling relationships grow to be deep and intimate relationships that should be God-centered. When issues of sexual chemistry or sexual differences get in the way, the goal of the relationship isn’t met.
The Disciples of Christ learned from Him in many ways. Since He is our model, the leader in the relationship should look to Christ for methods of teaching. His most obvious method was “do as I do”. When the disciples asked Jesus how they should pray, He told them, “When ye pray, say, Our Father which art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done, as in heaven, so in earth. Give us day by day our daily bread. And forgive us our sins; for we also forgive every one that is indebted to us. And lead us not into temptation; but deliver us from evil.” (Luke 11:2-4)
Jesus was demonstrating that committing His words to memory was important. Memory verses may seem like something for children, but they are not just for children. If we are to be able to use the Scripture to witness, to testify, to defeat the enemy, to encourage one another, or to do any of the other things that God would have us do, we must know the Scripture. This doesn’t mean to go memorize all the words of Christ; it means that as the leader helps the disciple grow through Bible study and discussion, key verses will be part of the lessons. Committing these verses to memory helps us commit the lesson to memory.
The disciples recognized the Christ because they knew the Scriptures. (John 1:45) To grow in a relationship with Christ means knowing what He had to say. To mature as a Christian and avoid false teaching means learning the doctrine of Christ. All of this comes through diligent Bible study with a mature leader. The leader should develop some sort of plan so the relationship has a goal. The plan should include foundational teachings on which deeper instruction will be built.
Hebrews 5:12-6:2 identifies those things which are foundational teachings. The author identifies these things: the principles of the doctrine of Christ, repentance from dead works, and of faith toward God, the doctrine of baptisms, and of laying on of hands, and of resurrection of the dead, and of eternal judgment. The plan of discipleship ought to cover these teachings.
Developing a discipling relationship is much like planning a trip; you will start out with a plan but will probably encounter many diversions that are fruitful to explore. When you come across these diversions, examine whether there is a lesson of value at the end of the path and if there is, by all means, divert.
Jesus sent His disciples out on their own to experience missions. (Luke 9:1-2) This was a learning experience for them and can be fruitful for learning in a discipling relationship, too. Part of the plan of Bible study should include practical application. Being able to translate the concepts of the Scriptures into daily living is what maturing as a Christian is all about.
It is important for both parties in the relationship to spend time alone with Christ. Jesus went off by Himself to spend time with God and instructed His disciples to do likewise. (Mark 6:31) Spend the time in prayer and meditation, seeking guidance for the relationship and deeper understanding of the lessons from the relationship. The leader of the partnership must understand that the student isn’t the only one in a learning process; both parties will be students of Christ in this relationship and both will need to spend time with Christ to process the lessons.
While a lot of effort goes into a discipling relationship, there are great benefits for it. Consider these words of Christ: “For whosoever shall do the will of my Father which is in heaven, the same is my brother, and sister, and mother.” (Matthew 12:50) The goal of the relationship is to develop a deep intimacy with Christ and a greater understanding of God’s will for us. The benefit is the goal, for when you “Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you.” (James 4:8)
As we draw closer to Christ, we experience His enlightenment. “Then spake Jesus again unto them, saying, I am the light of the world: he that followeth me shall not walk in darkness, but shall have the light of life.” (John 8:12) Things that confounded or frightened will suddenly become clear; things that made no sense will be understood. This kind of enlightenment can only truly be appreciated when it is experienced, but trust that it is worth the effort getting there.
(All Scripture is KJV)
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