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Whether we are married or single, at some point in our adult lifetime many of us consciously make a decision as to whether or not to become parents. For married couples and some single women the decision is easy and they become parents through the biological processes of conception and childbirth. But for others who are not able to conceive the road to parenthood can be a much more difficult journey.
In recent years with the help of science and technology more couples have been able to start families. These same individuals may not have been able to conceive children some 15 to 20 years earlier. Improved fertility drugs and procedures such as artificial insemination and in vitro fertilization, as well as, the growing acceptance of surrogates have all paved the way for more people becoming parents.
But what can a couple do when they have explored and pursued every medical option available, yet still find themselves childless? What can a single woman or man do if she or he would like to become a parent, but is not in a relationship which would produce a child? And what if, due to the conflicts between a person’s religious beliefs or personal financial restrictions, the option of becoming a parent through the wonders of modern medicine are not possible? Adoption may be the only method available to these people to become a parent.
Most of us have heard how difficult it is to adopt and how adoptive families are carefully scrutinized prior to being approved for adoption. Couples wanting to adopt infants are told time after time that they may have a 2- to 3-year wait before an infant can be placed with them. We have seen tearful images on the evening news of toddlers being ripped from their adoptive parents’ arms to be reunited with birthparents. Toddlers who were relinquished and placed at birth with an adoptive family for the purpose of adoption. So why would anyone want to take on the uphill battle of adoption? Motivation!
Motivation...What is yours?
Motivation is the driving force and the key to success in adoption! A lack of motivation will ultimately lead to a failed adoption or may even prevent you from taking the first step towards adoption. Whether you are an infertile couple, a single man or woman, or a fertile couple who chooses not to conceive, it is important that you know and understand the reasons you are choosing to adopt. However, "reasoning" and "motivation" are two different entities.
For many couples infertility is the reason behind their decision for adoption; but the desire to share their love with a child is their motivation to adopt. Yet, unresolved issues surrounding a couple’s infertility may be the primary reason they are unable to adopt. It is not uncommon when an adoptive family is interviewed by a social worker these unresolved issues arise; and it is decided that before the adoption process goes further, the couple must reconcile their feelings concerning their infertility.
Adoption Is A Joint Decision!
Although the statement above seems fairly simple and should go without being said; there are couples who, when faced with the decision to adopt, discover their respective spouses are only interested in having a biological child and adoption is not a topic up for discussion. It is important that couples communicate with each other before and throughout their marriage as to what things are important to them and what is and is not acceptable in deciding upon starting a family. For couples, adoption should be a mutual decision.
To take above statement one step further, couples may want to consider the thoughts and concerns of extended family members when making adoption plans. A couple may be open to adopting a child of a race or ethnic background different from their own, but extended family members may be unwilling to accept a child not of their own race or background.
As you can see, there is a great deal to consider when contemplating adoption as a way of starting or adding to your family. Adoption may not be the answer for everyone, but it can certainly be a winning option for those willing to open their hearts and homes to children in need of receiving and wanting to give love.
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